What is grief?
Grief occurs when we experience a loss. This can include loss of:
- Health
- Function
- Expectations, hopes, plans, goal
- Friendships/relationship
- Work/career
- Identity
- Sense of safety or control
- Faith
- Sense of worth or belonging
- Traditions
Stages of Grief and Loss
- shock and denial
- anger
- bargaining
- depression
- acceptance
**Grief is not linear; it is not a checkbox list of stages.**
New stages--Finding Meaning
- Peace — acceptance and calm
- Connection — honors the loss, the loved one, and their ongoing place in our lives
- Hope — redirects towards life and the future
**Finding meaning in grief can be transformative.**
Supporting Those in Grief
- Listen and support, no need to fix anything
- Sit with hard feelings
- Offer to be alongside versus offering advice
- Admitting we can’t make it better or take away the pain
- Not asking for feelings to be changed
- Recognizing and honoring the loss
- Not giving a time limit on grief
Working on Grief and Loss
The THINKING Side:
- Journaling
- Reviewing your past success with coping in other losses or hard situations
- Focus on the WHAT IS not the WHAT IF
- Use humor (but not exclusively)
- Remember how to eat an elephant — one bite at a time
- Treat ourselves as we would treat our best friend or our child
The ACTION Side:
- Slow, measured breathing
- Relaxation or prayer/meditation
- Develop a grief ritual
- Pleasant activities
- Gratitude list
- Start and keep a “normal” routine
- Regular exposure to sunlight
- Healthy sleep habits
- Nutrition and exercise