Deciding whether to have children after a stroke

To have or not to have? That is one of the big questions we’ve asked ourselves after Nathan’s sudden stroke.

We had been married for just over 1 year before Nathan had his stroke. As a young couple in our late 20’s, we were still in the honeymoon period, with grand ideas to travel the world without any responsibilities, in the company of each other. My plan was to work and travel until I turned 30 and then start trying to conceive.

However our brush with mortality has forced us to focus solely on Nathan’s health and recovery from stroke. The idea of children was the last thing on our minds. Nathan still has lingering affects from his stroke, most notably his left sided weakness. He is also on medication which may have an impact on his fertility.

Having children is such a life changing experience for any couple to look forward to. Most stroke survivors that we’ve met or spoken to have had children prior to their stroke (if there are any other stroke survivors or their partners out there who have had children after a stroke we’d love to hear from you). We have so many questions, worries and doubts about how things will work, that the thought of not having children has crossed our minds.

What if we can’t conceive?
How would we deal with having a baby as well as dealing with Nathan’s ongoing recovery?
How would I cope being a carer, wife and mother?
How would Nathan be as a dad?
How will Nathan cope with looking after a baby?
Will we have a steady income to support us?
What will the child think of their father’s stroke?
What happens if Nathan’s condition worsens?

We had a plan. It involved both of us working together as parents to look after the baby. But now we need a new plan. I don’t know what that looks like at the moment. We’re still taking it one day at a time.

One thought on “Deciding whether to have children after a stroke

  1. My husband at 36 had a massive stroke last September we have 3 children at the time 8, 4 and 4 months. My husband is still in rehab but will be coming home soon. I justed wanted to say I have read all your posts and I really think you have delt with everything so well you would be able to add a baby to life. It is hard but our baby will never know his dad any other way, my husband has been able to change the odd nappy one handed, given him bottles, feed him meals and is able to play with him and the older boys. Our men have surpassed all expectations they will deal with anything put in front of them.

    Live is for the living go for it xxx


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